British comedian Ricky Gervais sure is a nice guys...he's offered to help out the two Oscar hosts, James Franco and Anne Hathaway, with some openers in case they run out of stuff to talk about while up on stage.
He's such a nice guy isn't he? Well if you tuned into him hosting the Golden Globes a few months ago then you'd know that his openers are not all that 'nice' but it sure is funny!
The now slimmed down comedian wrote the following on his blog:
“Good luck to James Franco and Anne Hathaway at The Oscars on Sunday, I know how nervous they must be right now….They will do an absolutely fantastic job and don’t need my help, but I’ve written a little opening in case they have a few minutes to fill.”
Ricky then followed up his good wishes with the following:
James FrancoYou probably know me from 127 Hours where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds "way out" but wait till half way through this fucking ceremony and you'll start to identify with him.
Anne Hathaway
And I'm the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too.
JF
It's a daunting task hosting The Oscars but we're not alone. Presenting awards tonight will be a string of Hollywood legends and some other actors who have a film out in March or April.
JF
Usually they hire comedians to host The Oscars, but tonight, instead, you get us!
AH
No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly.
JF
Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake of The Office.
AH
But you can all relax because Ricky Gervais is in London...
(Nervous laughter)
He's doing some charity work.
Yeah, he's visiting orphans with cancer.
He's telling them what bald little losers they are...
There's a lot more of that and if you're interested in reading it click here. I personally think he's funny and I hope Hollywood rethinks banning him from hosting the Golden Globes again...oh wait, they already did.
